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Fearing your Power

I was a fearless blast of raw passion. I knew I was going to be a worldwide famous singer. So, against my family and my surroundings, I literally blasted off and took a flight to Puerto Rico at the age of 16. On my own. My mum in tears at the airport, my whole family saying goodbye and me so excited, confident and without a care. They did not know where I was heading to, and they had so many “what if’s” and fears of what could happen to me, however I had none. I was 1000% sure where I was going and what I was going to do. Why so much worry for nothing? What if someone kidnaps you, and we can’t find you? What if there is an earthquake? What if you get bitten by an exotic insect and you get an infection and there is no medical assistance? What if the people you’re going to be with are not who they say they are? What if someone robs you? – I had all that covered. Why? because it was not on my mind. That was not what I was going to do, it was not a part of my reality, and hence it did not manifest. Do I watch the news and worry about pandemics, politics, terrorist attacks or whatever? No. I don’t know what is going on outside my world, and hence I do not manifest any of that, I am dealing only with my own reality, whatever is in my awareness.

Our power.

Everything we are and have, our present reality, is nothing more than the immediate manifestation of our wants, our knowings. Reality mirrors us. The people in our lives are a reflection of who we are/want. Nothing more, nothing less. So it’s good to take a moment to address where we are and see if we are happy or not.

That’s the downfall of growing up. We get influenced by others’ intentions and doubts. Mainly that which affects our heart, our lovers. They are our most powerful influencers, because they are our mirrors. It doesn’t have to be a person, it can be any passion. But a person has a soul, so it’s more powerful. Our lovers are the exact reflection of our own fears, wants, desires, likes, blockages. So if you see in the other something you don’t like, that is exactly what you have/are too. If both continue to entertain the same patterns then it will be a lasting relationship. Perhaps not a happy one, but a lasting one. If one snaps out of the situation and decides to grow, the other one will have two options: dwell in self-pity dragging the other one along, or do something about it to also grow. That is how it is.

Often times, we open so much to someone, that we give our heart away completely, we blindly trust them as if they were us, we give them our power. But what if the person changes? we all change, and then all sorts of unwanted things start to happen: we start acquiring their own traits, we ignore a part of them that we don’t want to see, we justify their actions, the ball starts growing and growing and we can’t stop it, until we run out of breath because of an unbearable pain that we have allowed to breed inside. Why do we find comfort in hurt? Why do we become habituated to live in lack? Why do we want to conform to something which is not good for us? Fear. Fear of our own power. Because if we are in our power, we would have to take responsibility for the good and the bad outcomes. And that means work, effort. Owning our failures as well as our triumphs.

Me at 21. Fearless.

How scary and exciting it is to know that we are powerful! Me: “I want to sing with that person” Mind: “but they will never acknowledge me” “but I am not important enough to their eyes” “but they live thousands of miles away” “but their circle is nothing to do with mine”, etc. All those “buts” are only obstacles that I am throwing in front of my own desire. Am I stupid? Why, instead of allowing those thoughts to bombard me, why don’t I just follow my want, my heart, my desire, and let it all work out by itself? just know that it’s yours, forget about it and get on with your life. And think: “I know I am good” “I know my capabilities” “I know I don’t need to prove anything to anyone to know my worth as a singer” “I am way professional and have more experience than most of the famous singers around” “I know myself and I know who I am”. This is just a knowing, something that springs from the bottom of your being. But when self-doubt kicks in, say GO AWAY to those other thoughts that creep in and remind yourself of your essence, your desire, your worth.

Is what you have who you think you are/want? or perhaps you are not who you think/you don’t want what you think you want, therefore you have something else?

A desire attached to a thought. That’s all that it takes.

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