SingersFit

They say:
“you have to move on”
“you can’t love someone who hurts you”
“you don’t love yourself”
“you seek love in the wrong places”,
“you cannot grow in pain”
“it’s your fault”
“you must be feeling so needy and unworthy”
“you’re living in the past”…

Those are the words of those who live a mundane life,
ruled by the material, the appearance,
the transactional, the mental,
which is most people.
That’s why I rarely connect with anyone.

I sigh and let them talk.
Very few see me,
very few understand.

I don’t seek anything, I just am.
There’s nothing to move on from or towards.
I don’t operate in transactions,
or past, or future.
I just am,
in this eternal now.

It’s always been this way.

I’ve been officially (not actually) alone for over a decade.
I could be with any man if I wanted,
it’s not due to lack of offers.

But that’s not who I am.
And I honour myself,
because if I don’t,
then I can’t exist.

I love my own company
because I love myself,
unlike those who jump from relationship to relationship,
dumping their shit onto or sucking the life out of others,
unchanged.

I can’t be with someone
for the sake of not being alone.
I need deep connection,
an extraordinary attraction,
an angelic devotion.

This doesn’t happen often.

So I prefer to be alone,
traveling light,
unencumbered, free of burdens,
 even if I don’t want to,
as I also find purpose in
serving, nurturing and giving love to my man,
being able to fully express my femininity
sensually, sexually, delightfuly,
indulging in so many pleasures.
Ahh… memories.

I shine in the face of challenge,
the challenge that his connection is.
His hurts,
have increased my strength, my light,
my deep unconditional love.

I feel fearless, invincible,
I see who I am,
the rare material I am made of.

This drives me,
defines me,
makes me stronger and stronger.

I don’t expose myself to pain on purpose,
I don’t seek it, and I don’t want it either,
but it just happens.
It has always come to me,
so I have learned to accept it,
because after having fought it,
done the impossible to eliminate it,
having tried all the ways for it not to occur,
not only it didn’t go away, it made itself more present.

So I had to learn
that in acceptance lies True Love.
The acceptance of what is.
This is Truth.
And Truth is Love.
True Love.

A light shining in the light
recharges batteries
from time to time.
But the purpose of the light
is to illuminate the darkness.

And that’s why I am here.
So that I can fulfil my purpose, grow, shine.

I know who I am.
The more I face the darkness,
the more I love myself,
because I see how rare my love is.

It’s a solitary path,
but it’s the True one.