Quietly

A man can leave many times,
but a woman only leaves once,
and when she does, it’s for good.

When she leaves
there won’t be big announcements,
dramatic farewells
or any loud signs.

She will just depart,
quietly.
Because she can no longer give.
Nothing left, not even tears.
Empty.
Done.

She has known the truth now.
An expensive price to pay
that she never negotiated.

Not even memories will remain,
just vague pictures of a life
that will seem foreign, not hers.

But at least no one can say she did not try…
oh boy, did she try!
She gave her everything!
Only the Highest knows.

But maybe…

There shall be other worlds,
other faces.
Places
where she can be and thrive,
not just hope and survive.

Trading loneliness for family,
possibility for the known,
anonymity for connectedness,
pale skin for sun-kissed tans.

She’ll still be the “different” one,
the passionate mystic
with the beautiful voice,
the one who sees,
while barely no one sees her.
Her solitude will remain.
Lonesomeship.

Always alone.

But at least she’ll be near the ones
who gave her life,
she’ll be “home”,
and there will be warmth.

The restlessness that once made her leave
may now have turned into peace.
The smallness may have now become grandeur,
The simplicity, wealth.
The frugality, abundance.

Who knows.

She just knows she’ll leave in silence.

When the day comes.

These are persistent thoughts
that populate her head lately.