To feel it all,
right before it happens,
before anyone else sees it.

To be sensitive
to every tiny gust of wind,
to every imperceptible fluctuation in the field,
to the beginning of anything.
To see through everyone
so clearly,
transparently.

To dress up like an eskimo
when everyone else is wearing summer clothes,
and still be cold.
To catch every flu, every virus, every affection,
to sense in my body any small change of weather,
even though I am stronger than the average woman,
even though I exercise and train every day
and teach others how to.
Even though I eat healthier than most.

It’s not a physical thing,
it’s a thing of the soul.

“You’re pure, that’s why”, someone said.

I wish I were toxic, superficial, low and dirty.
I wish I could.
I wish.

So I wouldn’t suffer.

I would effortlessly merge in the world,
no longer lonely,
no longer misunderstood,
finally seen.

But that’s not who I am.
I feel it all,
and so it is.